Pop culture, entertainment and current affairs humour blog for anybody trying to make it in this crazy world.

Human Centipede film takes torture-porn to arse-kissing new low

Monday, August 30th, 2010
Don't try this at home, kids.

Scott says this happens all the time at his place.

Isn’t it always the way? Your car breaks down on a dark and stormy night, you and your friend find an isolated house nearby, the guy who lives there is really messed up and uses you to satisfy his debased psychosis by surgically connecting your face to your friend’s rear-end.

That’s how it goes for Lindsay and Jenny, characters from the new torture-porn film The Human Centipede (First Sequence), which is now showing in a limited number of Australian cinemas.

Click here to find out more about torture-porn’s latest low

My religious experience with Russell Crowe

Wednesday, June 30th, 2010
Star of Robin Hood and Gladiator, Russell Crowe, shouting at something.

Oh shit, some plonker has mentioned the accent in Robin Hood again.

As a society, it’s been a while since we were truly religious. It’s rare that you find someone who still believes the stories of gods and goblins that were conjured up in the good old days to control the superstitious masses and provide a basis for things like monarchs and wars. A few people still say they do, but very few indeed strike me as acting like they really believe that their every thought and action is being judged by an all-knowing, all-seeing deity.

But we need something to believe in, it takes the spotlight off what’s lacking in our lives, so as a society, we now worship celebrities.  Magazines and gossip sites are our bibles, couches and movie seats our pews, big screen televisions, stages and cinema screens, the alters upon which we worship.

Since there are so many celebrities, I think we can assume our society is polytheistic. Like other doomed civilizations that have worshipped multiple deities, not all of our gods are equal. Some are ‘a-list’, some are ‘b-grade’, and others are reality television stars and breakfast radio announcers.

Imagine my delight when one of the a-listers, Russell Crowe, spoke to me. But this was no holy communion, Russell was displeased.

Click here to learn more about the wrath of Crowe

Don’t leave it to Bieber – the highs & lows of YouTube stardom

Wednesday, May 5th, 2010
Jordan Jansen wants to be the new Justin Bieber

Bieb-lieve it or not.

Not sure whether you are aware or not, but there’s this kid called Justin Bieber going around shaking his thang like it was on fire. Oh I forgot, to most teenage girls, it is.

Well, there are plenty of other kids trying to get famous on YouTube – read about the good and the ugly in my latest post for The Punch.

Click here to read The Punch story.

Is Gaga’s disco stick too big for little minds?

Friday, March 19th, 2010

Lady Gaga's sexy Monster Ball costume

Lady Gaga's answer to a sloppy joe and tracky dacks.

Lady Gaga is performing her Monster Ball world tour to rave reviews in Australia, but the show’s content isn’t exactly Play School material. Decide for yourself if kids should play Lady Gaga’s lovegame live in Pro Human Write’s latest post for The Punch.

Click here to read The Punch article.

Is Lady Gaga walking into a true blue trap?

Wednesday, March 17th, 2010
Lady Gaga is single handedly responsible for giving pop music a slap in the face

Lady Gaga excretes pop greatness, the bloke behind her doesn't.

Welcome to Australia, Lady Gaga. Just don’t screw up.

Our land abound in nature’s gifts is fast developing a reputation among international media as being abound with tough audiences. Whitney Houston is the obvious and most recent example. A couple of weeks ago Aussies everywhere cheered as our media bared their chompers and tore Whitney to shreds over the standard of her live performances.

‘The show must go on’ is apparently not an Australian maxim. ‘Don’t bother unless you’re on top of your game and if not, cancel the show and give us all refunds’, is.

I’m not suggesting that Whitney’s performances weren’t substandard in the extreme, they obviously were, but the unilateral intensity with which both the public and the press attacked her was a bit much. We demonstrated classic pack mentality as we reveled in Whitney’s pathetic on-stage demise, and with reports from our Kiwi cousins of Lady Gaga showing signs of exhaustion during one of her Auckland shows, alarm bells are ringing.

Click here for more on Lady Gaga Down Under