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Oh shit, some plonker has mentioned the accent in Robin Hood again.

As a society, it’s been a while since we were truly religious. It’s rare that you find someone who still believes the stories of gods and goblins that were conjured up in the good old days to control the superstitious masses and provide a basis for things like monarchs and wars. A few people still say they do, but very few indeed strike me as acting like they really believe that their every thought and action is being judged by an all-knowing, all-seeing deity.

But we need something to believe in, it takes the spotlight off what’s lacking in our lives, so as a society, we now worship celebrities.  Magazines and gossip sites are our bibles, couches and movie seats our pews, big screen televisions, stages and cinema screens, the alters upon which we worship.

Since there are so many celebrities, I think we can assume our society is polytheistic. Like other doomed civilizations that have worshipped multiple deities, not all of our gods are equal. Some are ‘a-list’, some are ‘b-grade’, and others are reality television stars and breakfast radio announcers.

Imagine my delight when one of the a-listers, Russell Crowe, spoke to me. But this was no holy communion, Russell was displeased.

Click here to learn more about the wrath of Crowe